At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
