Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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