i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
