it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
