Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
