I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
