Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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