i just had sex bonerless
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
