You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
