Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you never un-have a 4some
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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