Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
