did you get engaged???
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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