it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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