whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
