just survived the first fart of the relationship.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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