i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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