Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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