some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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