3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
