Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She bit a glass in half.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize