Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
