Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
