Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
why is half of my head shaved?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
