Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
