just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize