this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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