Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Why did you take off so early

(224): View more from Illinois

No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.

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(435): View more from Utah

Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood

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(614): View more from Ohio

this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had

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(503): View more from Oregon

do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?

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(310): View more from California

I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him

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(901): View more from Tennessee

we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.

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(303): View more from Colorado

you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning

(303): View more from Colorado

you were serious about those bagels

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(562): View more from California

Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad

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