i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
