I wannas sexs uuuuu
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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