Kareoke will never be a sober sport
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
