Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
