'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
