I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I cut my penus on the lid.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
