I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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