hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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