i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
