I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
