girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
