I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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