i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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