So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
