I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
