I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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