it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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