I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
