Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
