So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
