it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
