I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
should my penis look like a turkey
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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