Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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