It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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