Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize