she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
