I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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