And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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