you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
