What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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