I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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