Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my sisters under your porch take her home
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
