She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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