i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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