We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
