If that was your dad, he is hot
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
