belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize