The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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