how can u be prego again
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
