Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
