This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This is the high leading the old right now
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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