Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
