I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize