I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
