He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
