I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
