Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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