things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
