Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
