his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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