I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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