Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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