You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you made out with another girl for some wings
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
