If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
